The Illusion of Romance – October 5 2017

Is romance based first on illusion, and then the illusion wears off and now you both look raggedy because you see how it [really] is? Or was the love the reality? Which is which? I always think it’s the opposite of the way the world sees it. I think when you first see that person and flash on them, that’s reality. That’s not illusion. You get who they really are. Because the naked self is love itself. You see what they are and you fall instantly in love with that energy within them. Then as time goes on, the ego raises its ugly head and begins to demean it. But in the beginning, you really saw them as they were. You saw their incredible perfection and beauty… Then the ego comes up with its self-interest and selfishness and ‘it’s your fault’ and blame and ‘you forgot the forks. You ruined the picnic. You forgot the forks.’ ‘You always blame me for everything.’ ‘Well why shouldn’t I? You are to blame for everything.’ ‘Yeah, but you’re to blame for blaming me.’ ‘You’re to blame for blaming me for blaming you.’ And there it goes downhill.
 
So you have to draw back once in a while and see ‘what was the reality I saw? Is it still there?’ Of course it’s still there. Of course it’s still there. Recapture the love and reverence which you have for each other as Existence [itself].
David Hawkins, M.D., Ph.D., 
The Way to God: God: Transcendent and Immanent,
recording, 11/2002
 
We seek God or a spiritual connectedness because deep down within each of us is that spark of the Divine that calls to us, and that when we are without it, we feel incomplete.
 
We seek an experience of our Higher Self because our Higher Self is the truth of what we are, and existence, as our Higher Self, calls to us to remember this truth and to live as this truth.
 
We seek love because the truth of God, the truth of our Higher Self, the truth of life itself, is love; and love calls to us from across the room, flaring to life in the aura or the eyes of another, and demanding to be recognized, demanding to be honored, demanding to be revered; and here in the form of this other person is the perfect place to meet these demands with our love.
 
Love demands from us recognition and honoring and reverence, and we are helpless but to respond; and love occurs. Then ego demands from us to be fed, and suddenly we’re not so sure. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe he/she is not the one. Maybe it’s gone. Maybe it’s not possible here. Maybe I need to try again, somewhere else. Or maybe I’m just not capable of love. Maybe love is true for everyone else, but not for me. 
 
And we talk ourselves out of it. Again.
 
But as my friend Earl says, the answer to every question is simple. Always. Not simple everywhere but here, but simple everywhere, always. And if the truth of life is love, then the answer to every difficulty is simply to love. Always. And if you find it challenging to love from where you are? Just imagine the muscle you will build by learning to love even there, even with this one, even now. Even when your ego screams ‘no.’
 
And yes, indeed, sometimes we must love from further away, from down the block, from another country. And always we must love regardless of what we may get in return. And love may not look the way we thought it was supposed to look.
 
But still, the answer is to love. Always.
 
Today I will give myself permission to love, rather than listen to the ego and its reasons not to love. I will offer some token of my affection – a note, a song, a touch, a flower – to someone who might be feeling even less lovable than me.
Tulips, wet plate collodion, Studio City, CA
All original material copyright © 2017 Jeff Kober